Dr. Julie (Wally’s name for Dr. Reichhoff – and it stuck) said I was dilated to 4 cm and 70% effaced at my appointment the day before due date. Wally has been my sidekick for all appointments. There were the “pop your head” appointments (chiropractor), and there were the “listen to baby’s heart beat” appointments – which evolved into “check your butt??” appointments. Well, at this last appointment, when I sat up on the table, my foot knocked Wally in the head. He had been down there checking my “butt” while Dr. Julie and I were chatting – neither of us knew he was down there until I sat up and clocked him in the head! “Checkin’ your butt mama”.
Even at 4cm, I was feeling way too good to go into labor anytime soon. I started to realize that this baby might not make his/her appearance until November! -Which was seriously screwing with my plans of Halloween themed birthday parties for the rest of this kid’s life. I called my mom and after hearing the status of my cervix, she decided to make the drive from Grand Marais later that afternoon – just in case. The pressure was on!
Wally skipped a nap so I could go for a walk with a friend. After dinner, with Grandma here, Tim and I went for another walk. I had consistent contractions, but nothing to write home about. Pretty sure my mom was just going to be hanging out for a long weekend… with no baby.
Tim and I went to bed around 11.
At 1 am I wake up to a pretty decent contraction, actually have to do some "yoga" breathing through it. At 1:15 I’m awake again with another good contraction – breath through it, but because they are similar to night-time contractions I’d been having for a week or two-I fall back to sleep. At 1:30 I have another one and Tim and I start to pay attention. I also have to poop – and who has to poop at 1:30 in the morning??? Back in the bedroom, I start to shake uncontrollably and my teeth are chattering like crazy. Ok – this is something!
We head downstairs and start to get things ready – bags to the car, cameras charged, I just keep walking and talking and the contractions are 9 minutes apart, then 6 minutes apart, then 8, then 5, then 9…I do figure eights and hula hips and low moaning with each one, texting Caralee, our doula, the whole time. Around 3am she decides to come to our house.
I’m on the toilet AGAIN when Caralee arrives. She takes over timing contractions with her handy phone (why didn’t I think of that! – Oven clock not nearly as tech savy). Things seem to slow a bit. I’m still cracking jokes between and drinking water and tying up loose ends. Caralee gives us a little space and listens in. Contractions pick up again. I eat a bowl of cereal at Caralee’s suggestion. With the contractions I feel like I need to be on hands and knees. They start feeling more intense and Caralee says, “Ok I think we should head in” Me: “Yup, unless we want to have this baby here.” It was so nice to have my Mom sleeping in the attic. We could just head to the car when we needed to. Didn't have to get some neighbor out of bed at 3:30 in the morning. We couldn't have "planned" it better!
My biggest concern with having a hospital birth, after two awesome home births, was the car ride there. Besides getting shivery and feeling like it took forever – it was smooth. I had one, big, long contraction on the way. We ran a red light – just to do it (hee-hee) and pulled into the parking garage. I was pretty sure I was going to use the "puke bucket" to pee in – right there in the garage, but somehow held it.
I felt like I was in a movie! -Having contractions, headed into the hospital – having people stare at us. It was fun!
Then these two buzz-kill security guards decided to get all authority-happy and insist that they could NOT let me WALK to the birth floor. I had to sit in the wheelchair – or they would not buzz us through. Really?! I was in NO mood to sit in the damn chair and couldn’t believe they were going to threaten a woman in labor with “sorry, sit in the chair or you can’t go upstairs!” really? – OK, guess I‘ll just have a baby right here in the entryway then – how about that?! I’ll show you!
Caralee declines for me. That doesn’t work. I decline, but to no avail. I just want to get to the 5th floor and have a BABY!- so I give in and sit down. When the dumb asses don’t put the feet thingies down – “what, should I just hold my feet up while trying not to pee myself and have a few mind numbing contractions???” I hop out of the chair, say “nope!”, and just started walking. I have no idea where I’m going, but I’m GOING! Then a female guard shows up, says “OK let’s go!” She pushes the chair next to me while I WALK to the elevator and up to 5th floor. Fina-frickin-ly!
I luck out with my nurse, Senja, (so Caralee says as we walk to my room-and she was right!). The monitors go on my belly as I lay in bed. Everything is looking good! I answer a few hundred questions, crack a few dumb jokes, eventually I get gowned up – making sure to cover my butt, and I have to poop again! Seriously? “I want an exhaust fan in this joint!” – nurse Senja agrees.
I'm having consistent contractions while standing and leaning on the bed – Caralee pressing on my lower back with each and every one. That was awesome. During the middle of a contraction I'm aware of a male voice in the room that is not Tim's. Once the contraction finishes, I turn around and this sea of people has assembled. The man, Dr. Julie, a nurse, my angel nurse Senja, Caralee and Tim. The man says something like “I'll check her too" – I put it together that he’s talking about my cervix. I say to him, and not very politely, “and who are you?” –he tells me he’s the resident Doctor “blah blah blah”. Well I was not impressed with his bedside manner. He looked like he could have been the janitor. For all I knew, he was! – I guess he did introduce himself to Tim, but I missed that part, and Caralee said he had probably just woken up - hence the wrinkled scrubs and the bedhead. Well next time you offer to check a woman's cervix - maybe start with "Hi, my name is..."
So, with everyone in the room, standing in a line with their arms folded, looking at me - I feel very “watched” – I make a crack about it and they all scatter. So now it's just me, Tim, Doula Caralee and Nurse Senja.
I eventually make my way ON to the bed. The head of the bed is adjusted to 90 degrees and I'm on both knees facing the back of the bed, with my arms up over the top. With each contraction I figure-eight my hips and moan and groan through it. I’m in my head enough to think “huh, I’m not telling jokes anymore? – that must mean I’m in labor land”. After a bit, I start getting frustrated with the down time between contractions. When I have one, it’s very intense, and I can feel baby’s head moving down, grinding down, and I know things are moving along; but then it’s a big break and I start to worry I’m stalling out. I have a moment of realization, “oh yeah, I just have to do this till 10 and then I can push, and that’s way different” – not sure why that was a light-bulb moment…but it was. Also, even with taking the clock off the wall – I’m feeling very aware of time. I do NOT want a new nurse and I know Senja is done at 7:30am. Let’s get this show on the road!
So, totally annoyed with the down time, I ask for Dr Julie to come in and check me. She says I’m at a 9+, with just a lip of cervix left that she thinks I can just push away, and the bag of waters bulging. I give one push and adios cervix! She says I have two options: she can break my water which that will get things moving, or I can continue with what I’m doing. I decide to go with the water breaking. So in goes the crochet hook. Gush, gush, gush, and then, HOLY HANNAH! things start to MOVE. I roll on my side, feel like I’m going to vomit, can’t feel the start or finish of contractions – it’s all one big crazy contraction. I thought I would birth on hands and knees(requiring the butt flap) well, I couldn’t even move. I got on a freight train as soon as my water broke and it wasn’t slowing down. I think I say, “I don’t know what to do!” There is a lot of rushing around, the bed is converted, the stirrups come up. I look down, and Dr. Julie is all decked out in her space gear, bright lights, crazy craziness. Dr. Julie yells , “Get the resident!” I yell “no resident!” Dr. Julie yells again toward the curtain door, “no resident!", and I start to push – primal style, no low moaning, TomKat silent birth for me. It was wild cat in the woods pushing. I give in to the feeling of poop coming out my butt and just let ‘er rip. I didn’t actually rip – not even a flesh wound. And I don’t even think I pooped! – just felt like it. I can feel baby’s head – soft and wet and warm; then the ring of fire. Calalee is off to the side telling me to let things stretch - and I sit with it for a bit. The initial, intense "fire" pain starts to fad pretty quick. With another push I can feel the head is out. I reach down, grab the baby under the arms and pull the warm body out and up to my chest. Tears and relief and disbelief – we did it, baby is really here, chapter closed, new one starting. I look to see if we have a boy or girl and it takes a bit for my brain to register…yup, there is no penis, right? That’s not a penis right? No, that’s a vulva, it’s a VULVA!, it really is a girl…a GIRL! I look over my shoulder to Tim and say, “I knew it was a girl!” Tim is at my side crying and I’m crying and all the discomfort is instantaneously gone. Totally GONE! It’s 5:45am – I made it before shift change!
At first she had a little trouble breathing through the goop in her nose and throat – damn those bowls of ice cream I had at the end of my pregnancy. But maybe I should have had more ‘cause she is a peanut. One of my first thoughts as I pulled her out was, “WOW! that baby is tiny!” She weighed 6 pounds, 10 ½ ounce. Tiny! So, we’re rounding up to 11 ounces. She was a little blue – but pinked up quick. We basked together under the heat lamp and started getting to know each other.
Autumn Brule is here.
I love her and want to freeze time.
Tim called my mom at 7. She thought we were calling from downstairs saying we were headed to the hospital. When Tim said "It's a girl!" - she was completely confused. "What? You had the baby?!" We really wanted to see the kids expressions when they heard she was a girl, in person. So we swore my mom to secrecy. All she told the kids was "It's a baby!" Rowan had spent the night with Elle and Kate for Elle's birthday at a hotel. We called Elle's mom, Noelle, and also swore her to secrecy. Once they all had breakfast, my mom brought the big siblings to the hospital.
It was so fun to see their faces as they slowly walked in the room. Then I opened up Autumn's diaper and let them see for themselves that they had a little sister! Rowan was so excited. Wally asked "No penis?" - Wally had said all along, when asked if it was a boy or girl in my belly, "Girl." Oscar was fighting back tears. He said it was because he wanted a brother. I think it was both wanting a brother and just feeling emotional about a new baby. However, within an hour he was smitten with his sister.
We all are.
